Wiser

I feel much wiser about my life at this point ...Which is how it is suppose to be but I'm trying not to let the knowledge come with bitter and regret. But you have to get better with time or you'll become like the rest of these low lives and with a name like Diamond White ..Why would I do that???:) Life is real in this cold world and you gotta hold your own because in the end your all you have. I can't say that I've mastered it yet but I'm getting better. Since SIUE I've been very single and when school got out I tried dating and that lead me to a world of trouble. I had men trying to take me to hotel rooms for dates, to people I thought I liked running from me in the club, to even a guy's wife calling me :? What the hell STL we can't produce better men than this? Whats up with all my other friends being able to find decent guys????I'm pretty fucking amazing let me tell it ...I know that God knows whats best for me and he out of all people know how great of a woman I am so maybe hes saving the best for last ... Thats What I'm going to assume lol! During this pause I'm checking for any fone calls ...Nope ..none ..not ever ..except from Christian who thinks hes going to get a response from me at 4 in the morning.Does he know who I am ..Far from a night owl!
I love being able to say that I've grown as a person...Its alot easier to ee thru the bullshit.People I thought would never do me in....well thats a whole nother story. I 'd rather be lonely that live a lie ,I've been lonely way too long ,even when I was with people I was still lonely.No one really knows the real Diamond except Brett..but like I said thats a whole nother story. I just hope that Washington D.C will be the change that I need because this pattern is OLD ..Dead Tired of the Shit! Sry that I have to end on such a depressing note but it's real out here and thats the moral of this story ...and only God knows so get in touch with him.

SIU..WHAT???

What I have learned at Siue
I have learned that standing out can be difficult, its hard not letting the crowd consume you. Being different isnt easy ,if your different well get used to it because it gets lonely. This is a male chovenistic world here. So males think they are superior. I think differently. Girls spend about 70% of their time wondering about guys to the point that its sicking. 30% goes towards looks and occasionally school will be thought about. Schoolside of this interesting adventure is fucked up . You get it wrong or right ..no inbetweens. These teachers suck ! Like all of them suck except for Diana my dance teacher (ilthatbiotch) !
As for myself after last semester I've tryed to stay lowkey because all I did was have sex last semester..I think I have become more experienced in that department :) Anyways It was fun but as you can expect I think it has earned me a bad reputation ..I'm not sure lol but all the guys have been keeping their distance from me. All I can seem to think about is why are all these guys acting like this ???When at the beginning of the year I couldn't keep'em off of me .Well whatever . My plan back fired I was just gonna focus on me this semester and now all I seem to think about is why everyone is keeping their distance.Oh and I've blown alot of people off . Now that I'm taking danceclass I'm always exausted so I never really get out , so now people think i dont want to hang with them but I'm realli just sleep...this is my life long cry me a river story ..I'm over siue I can't wait to get the fuck out of here(please columbia accept me !!!) . Thats my onli way or im stuck here with BIG TRACE.FREDRICK UGH.JALEN KILLMENOW.MY GRANNY LOVEHER BT ANNOYING.PEOPLEIDONTLIKE. SIUE. AND MY STUPID FRIENDS!

At Face With The Hands of Time

Hello.

My Name is Diamond White , If you happened to not know>>

Lets get up to date, Shall we ?

I am currently a student in a College

I Am Recently Single***

Now let me begin to tell you whats on my mind.

So lately I've been having trouble finding friends at college.

Over the weekend I hung out with two girls,who I must say are obssessed with boys. What is this middle school? GROW THE FUCK UP. The world is not over without a man in your lives. I wanted to say buy you a dildo and get a dog because they do the same god damn thing. We went to the club last nite ,,,same lame ass scene ,,,boreing as fuck , ok ! One of the two girls turns to me and says "Am I ugly " ..In my head I'm thinking honestly don't ask me that fucking question because the ugliest person can make themseleves look cute with a little time and effort and honestly you just need more effort. That just says alot about self confidence and I dont know If I want to hangout with someone so unconfident because Bitch my confidence is out the roof! And I like to run with the bitches with the same idea but I still do it humbly and thats how I want them to be.I'm tired of women settling for less .Everybody fucking Settles ..FUCK THAT SHIT, women rise up and see your worth. Just recently I decided that I will no longer live my life in fear, for a man, waiting for a man, or none of that shit because I am too damn smart for that shit an I've waisted too much time on that shit. Most dudes are so fucking foni I havent met too many ginuene people here at college. That is also why I hate these people, Its fucking high school all over again. I have to transfer ,I'm completly over this school. No one here has any real ambitions. But fuck it I fucking know I'm a star with my own shinning light bitch muthafucking Diamond White! I watch SunSet Boulavard today mite I say it was a masterpiece..anyways this is the movie for fucking the greatest quotes in the world. The protagonist in the movie says " I'm a star and this is my life , I love all of you. Its just us and the cameras and the wonderful people in the dark." The movie was about how people will sell their lives out and become anybody inorder to famous." Its a great theme, A theme I can relate to, All of these people are fucking sell out.POINT BLANK. All of this was getting to me the other day ,when I realized I need to take a trip to the hairdresser because I had something on my mind. Oh and ladies this is a great thing to do if you need to just talk because your hairdresser will tell it like it is and send you on your way looking like a bad bitch , so its a win win situation. She told me that she used to be a loner and that she was ok with it, all you have is yourself and love it . Realize its ok to be alone because at some point in your life you should take some time out and get to know you. Also why lower my standard and talk to people who i dont like anyways , that would get erk my nerves even more @ least I like myself . LOL Anyways I got all of this out of 6 words she said to me "People get on my nerves gurl." Then it struck me this is a successful black woman. A Bad Bitch. and shes happy. So why fucking not be proud of being lonely .Bitch I'm fucking lonely and proud of it.

AND I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! (Smokey from "Friday" voice)

Recent News that Kinda Shocked me (Not Reali)

Bishop Eddie Long Scandal !...That Nigga looks Gay So of course hes going to like boys ?

(Look at this tight ass shirt, He swallows cum by the gallons ladies and gentlman)

http://www.hiphoprx.com/content/uploads/2010/09/picture-bishop-eddie-long-bathroom-photo.jpg

Music

Mi Amor

Nora Jones

and When its time to party. "No Hands " Waka Flock Flame.Wale.Rosco. Yea Grl !

YouTube Video

COOCHINESS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLMzxkeP6hI&p=AA5D8750534C070B&playnext=1&index=11

Movies

Sunset Boulevard

Again?!?!

I am completely done searching for love until COLLEGE lmao. Its funny in a sense but in reality I just lost the love of my life. Just when I thought all men were the same ...lustful creatures who aren't happy living with one person in their little lives. A man named John walked into my life, he showed me how a lady should be treated, he was my sponsor and even brung me closer to god. I stopped smoking because of him and if you recently read any of my other blogs I was a true addict. I honestly believed that god brought him into my life for a reason. I thanked god so much ..so many times for bringing him into my life and showing me that all men aren't the same. I believed that if someone is changing your life for the better than that is the one for you. Everything was great omg we had the perfect relationship. I loved him so much , I honestly thought I was done looking and god had answered my prayers. Until he called me the other day out of the blue wanting a break. He can't take being in a long distance relationship...I've only been gone for 10 days and I saw you two days ago??///Ok honestly I can kinda understand you not being able to handle a long distance relationship but he askes can we date other people!!!!! I respond sure but there is no gureenteed that we will be getting back together (by this point I'm pissed). I'm so angry but I love this man so much I call him and GUESS WHAT his number is cut off ... he has a girl on facebook saying"i miss you babe" WTF . How are you going to completely going to cut me off after all that we've been through. I am so ravished with HATE and Love its rediculous. I have dreams of running him over with a car then i'll wake up and hear a love song and cry my eyes out. I can't fucking sleep anymore . I can't talk to him and its killing me . I never imagined that someone could hurt me so bad ,but apparently they can. I'm not going to let this stop me from finding love but honestly my trust issues have gotten a thousand times worse...it will definatly make giving my heart to someone alot harder .I HATE/LOVE JOHN BANKS!!!!!!