I feel much wiser about my life at this point ...Which is how it is suppose to be but I'm trying not to let the knowledge come with bitter and regret. But you have to get better with time or you'll become like the rest of these low lives and with a name like Diamond White ..Why would I do that???:) Life is real in this cold world and you gotta hold your own because in the end your all you have. I can't say that I've mastered it yet but I'm getting better. Since SIUE I've been very single and when school got out I tried dating and that lead me to a world of trouble. I had men trying to take me to hotel rooms for dates, to people I thought I liked running from me in the club, to even a guy's wife calling me :? What the hell STL we can't produce better men than this? Whats up with all my other friends being able to find decent guys????I'm pretty fucking amazing let me tell it ...I know that God knows whats best for me and he out of all people know how great of a woman I am so maybe hes saving the best for last ... Thats What I'm going to assume lol! During this pause I'm checking for any fone calls ...Nope ..none ..not ever ..except from Christian who thinks hes going to get a response from me at 4 in the morning.Does he know who I am ..Far from a night owl!
I love being able to say that I've grown as a person...Its alot easier to ee thru the bullshit.People I thought would never do me in....well thats a whole nother story. I 'd rather be lonely that live a lie ,I've been lonely way too long ,even when I was with people I was still lonely.No one really knows the real Diamond except Brett..but like I said thats a whole nother story. I just hope that Washington D.C will be the change that I need because this pattern is OLD ..Dead Tired of the Shit! Sry that I have to end on such a depressing note but it's real out here and thats the moral of this story ...and only God knows so get in touch with him.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
SIU..WHAT???
What I have learned at Siue
I have learned that standing out can be difficult, its hard not letting the crowd consume you. Being different isnt easy ,if your different well get used to it because it gets lonely. This is a male chovenistic world here. So males think they are superior. I think differently. Girls spend about 70% of their time wondering about guys to the point that its sicking. 30% goes towards looks and occasionally school will be thought about. Schoolside of this interesting adventure is fucked up . You get it wrong or right ..no inbetweens. These teachers suck ! Like all of them suck except for Diana my dance teacher (ilthatbiotch) !
As for myself after last semester I've tryed to stay lowkey because all I did was have sex last semester..I think I have become more experienced in that department :) Anyways It was fun but as you can expect I think it has earned me a bad reputation ..I'm not sure lol but all the guys have been keeping their distance from me. All I can seem to think about is why are all these guys acting like this ???When at the beginning of the year I couldn't keep'em off of me .Well whatever . My plan back fired I was just gonna focus on me this semester and now all I seem to think about is why everyone is keeping their distance.Oh and I've blown alot of people off . Now that I'm taking danceclass I'm always exausted so I never really get out , so now people think i dont want to hang with them but I'm realli just sleep...this is my life long cry me a river story ..I'm over siue I can't wait to get the fuck out of here(please columbia accept me !!!) . Thats my onli way or im stuck here with BIG TRACE.FREDRICK UGH.JALEN KILLMENOW.MY GRANNY LOVEHER BT ANNOYING.PEOPLEIDONTLIKE. SIUE. AND MY STUPID FRIENDS!
I have learned that standing out can be difficult, its hard not letting the crowd consume you. Being different isnt easy ,if your different well get used to it because it gets lonely. This is a male chovenistic world here. So males think they are superior. I think differently. Girls spend about 70% of their time wondering about guys to the point that its sicking. 30% goes towards looks and occasionally school will be thought about. Schoolside of this interesting adventure is fucked up . You get it wrong or right ..no inbetweens. These teachers suck ! Like all of them suck except for Diana my dance teacher (ilthatbiotch) !
As for myself after last semester I've tryed to stay lowkey because all I did was have sex last semester..I think I have become more experienced in that department :) Anyways It was fun but as you can expect I think it has earned me a bad reputation ..I'm not sure lol but all the guys have been keeping their distance from me. All I can seem to think about is why are all these guys acting like this ???When at the beginning of the year I couldn't keep'em off of me .Well whatever . My plan back fired I was just gonna focus on me this semester and now all I seem to think about is why everyone is keeping their distance.Oh and I've blown alot of people off . Now that I'm taking danceclass I'm always exausted so I never really get out , so now people think i dont want to hang with them but I'm realli just sleep...this is my life long cry me a river story ..I'm over siue I can't wait to get the fuck out of here(please columbia accept me !!!) . Thats my onli way or im stuck here with BIG TRACE.FREDRICK UGH.JALEN KILLMENOW.MY GRANNY LOVEHER BT ANNOYING.PEOPLEIDONTLIKE. SIUE. AND MY STUPID FRIENDS!
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