I feel much wiser about my life at this point ...Which is how it is suppose to be but I'm trying not to let the knowledge come with bitter and regret. But you have to get better with time or you'll become like the rest of these low lives and with a name like Diamond White ..Why would I do that???:) Life is real in this cold world and you gotta hold your own because in the end your all you have. I can't say that I've mastered it yet but I'm getting better. Since SIUE I've been very single and when school got out I tried dating and that lead me to a world of trouble. I had men trying to take me to hotel rooms for dates, to people I thought I liked running from me in the club, to even a guy's wife calling me :? What the hell STL we can't produce better men than this? Whats up with all my other friends being able to find decent guys????I'm pretty fucking amazing let me tell it ...I know that God knows whats best for me and he out of all people know how great of a woman I am so maybe hes saving the best for last ... Thats What I'm going to assume lol! During this pause I'm checking for any fone calls ...Nope ..none ..not ever ..except from Christian who thinks hes going to get a response from me at 4 in the morning.Does he know who I am ..Far from a night owl!
I love being able to say that I've grown as a person...Its alot easier to ee thru the bullshit.People I thought would never do me in....well thats a whole nother story. I 'd rather be lonely that live a lie ,I've been lonely way too long ,even when I was with people I was still lonely.No one really knows the real Diamond except Brett..but like I said thats a whole nother story. I just hope that Washington D.C will be the change that I need because this pattern is OLD ..Dead Tired of the Shit! Sry that I have to end on such a depressing note but it's real out here and thats the moral of this story ...and only God knows so get in touch with him.
