Again?!?!

I am completely done searching for love until COLLEGE lmao. Its funny in a sense but in reality I just lost the love of my life. Just when I thought all men were the same ...lustful creatures who aren't happy living with one person in their little lives. A man named John walked into my life, he showed me how a lady should be treated, he was my sponsor and even brung me closer to god. I stopped smoking because of him and if you recently read any of my other blogs I was a true addict. I honestly believed that god brought him into my life for a reason. I thanked god so much ..so many times for bringing him into my life and showing me that all men aren't the same. I believed that if someone is changing your life for the better than that is the one for you. Everything was great omg we had the perfect relationship. I loved him so much , I honestly thought I was done looking and god had answered my prayers. Until he called me the other day out of the blue wanting a break. He can't take being in a long distance relationship...I've only been gone for 10 days and I saw you two days ago??///Ok honestly I can kinda understand you not being able to handle a long distance relationship but he askes can we date other people!!!!! I respond sure but there is no gureenteed that we will be getting back together (by this point I'm pissed). I'm so angry but I love this man so much I call him and GUESS WHAT his number is cut off ... he has a girl on facebook saying"i miss you babe" WTF . How are you going to completely going to cut me off after all that we've been through. I am so ravished with HATE and Love its rediculous. I have dreams of running him over with a car then i'll wake up and hear a love song and cry my eyes out. I can't fucking sleep anymore . I can't talk to him and its killing me . I never imagined that someone could hurt me so bad ,but apparently they can. I'm not going to let this stop me from finding love but honestly my trust issues have gotten a thousand times worse...it will definatly make giving my heart to someone alot harder .I HATE/LOVE JOHN BANKS!!!!!!